I had gotten my gtube placed, two weeks ago, yesterday. They first put a button in, instead of the typical tubing and eventually found a problem out. I had grown a stress ulcer. The thing about a stress ulcer on your stomach is, it’s not fun. The only thing that can help it over time is pain meds. I was prescribed pain meds and took them for the ulcer because I thought it was still healing. On Tuesday of last week, I woke up & saw a rash around the cite with a type of puss in it. Later went to the doctor and had gotten antibiotics, took them for two days… didn’t work. Then I started to get worried. It was either Cellulitis or it was something else. My doctor had never seen that before. I went back on Thursday and (like I said) didn’t get better. They admitted me to W1101. Children’s. The surgeon team came up to see me while I was first being admitted and decided it was a stress ulcer from the button being tight. Meanwhile, I’m really surprised at how I was able to maintain calm; almost like nothing was happening. it’s normal for me now. Normal as in, something usually goes wrong and I guess you could say, my stay on W11. The only thing I remember saying to my sister was “I’m so sick and damn tired of being at this place” and then breaking down. I don’t see myself as a sick kid, but now, for the first time, I was. While I waited for Friday to come around, non stop GI and surgeons came in to talk to me. They said to plan on surgery about 1-3 pm because I was getting that baby out, and starting with a regular tube. Around 2:30 a pulmonologist came in to see me. I thought nothing of it because I was supposed to have a pulmonary apt that day. The doctor told me that I was being admitted. aka a picc line & a ten day stay. I immediately broke down crying and could only think “enoughs enough. This is my second surgery in a week & a half, and now I have to get a picc & stay longer then I need to”. I called my dad sobbing on the phone and explained to him that I didn’t get why they were admitting me because my doctors never had a legit reason. BUT like usual, I sucked it up & got my picc & headed into surgery next. My aunt came up with my sister. both in a tizzy because they didn’t understand either, why I was being admitted. They met me at day surgery, gave me a kiss on my forehead and said that they loved me & they’ll see me after surgery. After I had gotten out of surgery, I was back up in my room, eyes rolling & finally saw my parents. I hadn’t eaten in over 24 hours at that point & I was starving. i was finally able to eat and spent about a total of 6 days there. I begged my doctors to send me home on home ivs for the fact I wanted to go back to school but then chose not to. I’m home now, but attached to them 24/7. it’s like carrying around a baby, it gets old. Anyways, with having two “tubes” in my body, it’s hard. I never expected it to be this hard, and I knew it wouldn’t be easy. I see myself crying a lot more because I shouldn’t be a 19 year old with a tube hanging out of my body because I cannot gain the weight i need. It’s to the point where I’m mentally drained and counting down the days til I’m at least of iv antibiotics (8 days).